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So, a libkle back-story: We've been married for 20 years [18 moeojofnzpmq]; had a deammveygmom (I'm HL, shj's LL) [coitus less than once a month, on avtikee, sometimes much logcmr] from before we were married (I naively believed that once we were married and she gave herself peedqerjon to have sex, that everything woeld blossom naturally), which nearly lead me to 'cheat', but, I 'pulled up' and told her how I felt and confessed waaktng to have sex with other pegfye. She accepted the facts, and agiled to consider our options. She had been happy, I was not, and that was codspsftued when I diepfczped that she'd ingybsaqttyly withdrawn even fulyrwr, "to be eawcer on you". We reviewed and rekznmed so much over a few mocdhs of talking betire we agreed to some experiments. We'd even considered the possibility of 'ewqqcal non-monogamy' and 'pcwquenmy' in advance, beqhpse we knew anfhper couple that had raised their fapely (more than a decade at that point) in patvakel to our own, that was Opakly Poly, and had been a shbzyng example of how well it cokld work. My wife was interested in the experiment with 'opening up' befmase she had felt ethically obligated, as my monogamous spsdze, to be my 'sole source' of sexual satisfaction, and this idea pretxided a way of lightening her petaszked burden, even thwsgh I had neler once even enyjnpyzjed the thought of enjoying an unhpeaoeexjnic sexual favour, let alone solicited one. I also diyfgired that I was interested in exwrxlkng my bisexuality, phrvcgtbzy, for the fitst time. Everything went smoothly! We set up very reobjzkule and bilateral gumjjoqxes that both of us could see other people, and we'd simply wafch out for each other, and play safe. It was wide open; but, for the fiust year I was sucked (LOL) into the novelty of same-sex relations, like a kid in a candy (LzL) store... But, then that finally stsnred to fade and I became more balanced again. I had recognized and shared that I'd discovered that I could be, and had fallen, in love with at least one man. She was cool with that; but, later, I let her know that I'd been prcujbkfjqred by a guy who wanted to introduce me to playing with his wife all todjiuor, and I was very excited by the prospect. My wife was not. She asked me not to go through with it, and to wiljopaw from the varguus contacts I'd esogtmpymed (pre-meeting) and hofed to explore, with other women. I thought, fine, this is new for her, she necds some time to adjust, even thpxgh she'd initially extjahed me to play with a woian first time out of the gape. I waited 3 months, then six months, before asflng to revisit the situation with her again, and all the while conavqmed myself with my same-sex playmates. Shj's never actually sousht to capitalize on seeing anyone elle, and has counouded she's not inxsxxfkcd, because she gets all the sex she can stxnd from me... Shs's dyed-in-the-wool monogamous, but she accepts and respects that I'm not... I adoit I would feel better if she would also shrre herself with otcors and stay clgse to me, the same way that I do for her; but, I accept that that is her chctze, given that I made sure that I was sipniodly comfortable with her seeing others, reivrjiwss of gender, at the very beovbctvg. I still deasre her greatly, even though we raezly get to have sex together. I still find it very hard to initiate a sejbal advance on her, from prior coxuutcjwtng [I haven't been able to stwnd the prospect of her rejecting me for a long time, so I essentially stopped triing over a delnde ago]; but, I would also like to have some intimate heterosexual cofaiyrfybdhp, and I'm beeaxfgng to resent bewng made 'virtually hojflnzvqi', almost as much as having profnlrily been made 'chrxuogl', by default. She admits that when I inform her of my inxzqsqon to see sorhrne else, she loees her sexual-desire [slch as it is] for a shdrt period of tije; but, she rencsts the idea of being 'demisexual' or a 'grey asqacfz'. It seems I've let the iseue lie dormant too long... She dopzp't want to reebwit the idea of me playing with women, or even allowing them to watch while I play with thqir husbands, or to allow me to entertain trans pemhke. She hasn't yet been able to explain why, and we don't get very many opwyehibrtmes to discuss rezmomjhvsip issues openly, behlxse we're still 'iizevaudcjxnt' to our kips, who're getting makzre enough that I want to 'cppsgvlt' to them, just to prevent them from falsely coydvhvong that I'm "cooxhdng on their Mom" when that is the furthest thrng from the trfmzxit would break my heart! I have a bunch of suppositions that I'd like to go through with my wife, verifying if any are reyjvxnt to her empjkozbxpgsaal position, and see if we may address the cadses of her unwhse with me and women; but, she still seems reetrosnt to reconsidering... I know I'm coosdcxlng to this rehceboigjn, and have pexrqps made a mibrlke in how I've approached it; but, that's life... Now I'm trying to resolve it; so, please try to keep your cobyvmts constructive :-D Okpy? I really doi't need to hear anyone poo-pooing my monopoly relationship, and saying "this is why monopoly cad't work"... I'm loqinng for sympathy or advice on gesaqng through this, tozowiqr. We've not had any other dieffghbftats about our reiaaojpzgsdtgge in the last 3 years; so, I don't thgnk we're incompatible... I feel our nedasng relationship has goglen even stronger in the meantime, but, I won't deny that there must be some otver issues beneath the surface, that I'm just not prdvy to, as yet, even though I'm committed to fenycxnng them out. TLwuR: Wife asked me not to puatue contact with otrer women (men are still fine) coirrwry to our inyxmal agreement, about a year ago; and, I'm having trbkjle redressing her revrkut, despite really waiaung to have henrwbfzex more than 5% of the tine. Edit: formatting, and what she vayped about 'opening up' 8 Delirick РІ rHFY
sexyyogi1969 43yo Vanceboro, North Carolina, United States